The Office Quote of the Day

I wake up every morning in a bed that’s too small, drive my daughter to a school that’s too expensive and then I go to work to a job for which I get paid too little. But on Pretzel Day? Well, I like Pretzel Day…

The Office Quote of the Day

I keep various weaponry strategically placed around the office. I saved Jim’s life with a can of pepper spray I had velcro’d under my desk. People say, “oh, it’s dangerous to keep weapons in the home or the workplace”. Well I say, “it’s better to be hurt by someone you know accidentally than by a stranger on purpose.”

The Office Quote of the Day

Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I donno, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me-- no, don't sue me. That is opposite the point I'm trying to make.

The Office Quote of the Day

They say you should never mix business with pleasure- really? Well then explain to me how a putt putt golf company operates.

The Office Quote of the Day

Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

Song of the Week

This song makes me want to ride bikes with Jake Gyllenhaal.

The Killing Moon - Echo and the Bunnymen

The Office Quote of the Day

The worst thing about prison was the - was the dementors. They were flying all over the place and they were scary and then they'd come down and they suck the soul out of your body, and it hurt!

The Office Quote of the Day

Due to my vacation in the Big Apple, I will not be posting a Quote of the Day until I get back on Monday the 26th. So I leave you with one of my favorite Office videos.

The Office Quote of the Day

The only difference between me and a homeless man is this job. I will do whatever it takes to survive. Like I did when I was a homeless man.

The Office Quote of the Day

I want to clamp Michael's face in a George Foreman Grill.

Song of the Week

Believe - The Bravery

The Office Quote of the Day

Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate, so he's really not a part of our family. Also, he's divorced, so he's really not a part of his family.

The Office Quote of the Day

Oh, how I love a good montage.

The Office Quote of the Day

Fool me once...strike one.
Fool me twice...strike three.

The Office Quote of the Day

I don’t want somebody sucking up to me because they think I am going to help their career. I want them sucking up to me because they genuinely love me.

The Office Quote of the Day

I hate the idea that someone out there hates me. I even hate that Al-Qaeda hates me. I think if they got to know me they wouldn't hate me. But Karen knows me and she still hates me, so.

Oh, Jersey.

I look forward to every Monday to witness the pure insanity of the women of Frankling Lakes, New Jersey. Last week's episode ended in the ultimate cliffhanger when sassy Teresa Giudice makes the rash decision to give a "sincere" hello to Danielle Staub, the local "prostitution whore". After an exchange of a few tense words, the situation escalates when Teresa and her hot Italian temper begin to rip at the seams with this season's best line so far.

I don't want to call you honey, bitch. Is bitch better?

As her usual self, Danielle plays the victim, stating the many times Teresa and the Manzos have "attacked" her. She also makes a statement as to how Teresa's house is in foreclosure. As seen lately in the news, though Teresa's house was on the market to alleviate some of her husband's debt, her house was never under foreclosure. Teresa snaps at this accusation and the wildest bitch chase of the season ensues through the crowded halls of the North Jersey Country Club.



After some broken heels and some unnecessary yelling by Kim Granatell, Danielle's two-faced friend, Danielle made it outside, creating a pool of fake tears. In the middle of the kerfuffle, Ashley Holmes, Jacqueline Laurita's daughter, yanked onto Danielle's weave, ripping it out and causing more reason for Danielle to call the police, which she did. And these police were not surprised that Ms. Staub was involved in this.

Although I am completely on Team Teresa, she absolutely provoked a little altercation. She did admit she wanted a chance to get in Danielle's face. However, taking Danielle's side is harder with her bizarre entourage of thugs and leather-clad bodyguards, crocodile tears, and screaming "ASSAULT!" at the loss of her weave.

"All I can say is that takes a lot to take this kind of hair out, I mean these are beaded in to my real hair, that's my real hair that you ripped out of my head with this [shows hair extension]. And it hurts like hell ... and there's a small bald spot on the back of my head."

We get it, Danielle. She ripped out your hair.

However, we were able to see some sort of reason brought to the situation through the wise words of Caroline Manzo her brother, Chris, Jacqueline's husband.

Gem of the Episode:
Sarai, Danielle's energist. She is a "personal trainer" for the spirit. People pay for those?



'till next Monday.

The Office Quote of the Day

When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that I had absorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No, I believe his tissue has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.

Song of the Week

Even when it's summer, Mondays still feel like Mondays. Don't get me wrong...there are pleasant things about Monday: The Real Houswives of New Jersey, fresh coffee in the office, and here's one more.

Song of the week: