The Office Quote of the Day

I wake up every morning in a bed that’s too small, drive my daughter to a school that’s too expensive and then I go to work to a job for which I get paid too little. But on Pretzel Day? Well, I like Pretzel Day…

The Office Quote of the Day

I keep various weaponry strategically placed around the office. I saved Jim’s life with a can of pepper spray I had velcro’d under my desk. People say, “oh, it’s dangerous to keep weapons in the home or the workplace”. Well I say, “it’s better to be hurt by someone you know accidentally than by a stranger on purpose.”

The Office Quote of the Day

Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I donno, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me-- no, don't sue me. That is opposite the point I'm trying to make.

The Office Quote of the Day

They say you should never mix business with pleasure- really? Well then explain to me how a putt putt golf company operates.

The Office Quote of the Day

Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

Song of the Week

This song makes me want to ride bikes with Jake Gyllenhaal.

The Killing Moon - Echo and the Bunnymen

The Office Quote of the Day

The worst thing about prison was the - was the dementors. They were flying all over the place and they were scary and then they'd come down and they suck the soul out of your body, and it hurt!